today in the car Jenny is chattering away and also asking one question every 30 seconds. not simple ones to answer either. like
"what is a sunset?"
"why does that happen?"
"but why?"
"well i don't like it"
she stops her chattering for 5 seconds and says:
"why isn't Troy talking?"
i said "He doesn't talk much huh?"
she said "well I talk much"
yes. yes we know.
---------------------------------------------------
today i was brushing out jenny's 2 feet of hair and it was a crazy mess --the worst it has ever been. it took me 20 minutes. i was starting to think i would never get done. meanwhile Jenny was holding one hat in each hand. and Troy comes up and wants a hat. she is not wanting to share, he is wanting to steal. well i couldn't take that anymore so i swiped both of those hats and put them away and endured about 30 seconds of total meltdown from both kids. Still with my hairbrush working thru her tangled hair Jenny is protesting her awful unfair life.
me: "listen up i am busy back here and we have things to do. and having a Hat Fight is not on our To Do list today."
Jenny: (all innocent and sweet) "well is being nice on your to do list?"
ba ha ha ha ha. let me check. no.
---------------------------------------------------
deep thoughts from Jenny riding in car:
"momma, boogers aren't good for me. i shouldn't eat them. i should eat healthy food like you are always telling me to eat"
thats right Jenny. boogers are junk food
---------------------------------------------------
it seems Jenny is considering a different profession.
"Momma, i want to be a fireman. but i will need a pink fire hat. pink is for girls."
---------------------------------------------------
just a typical conversation with Jenny.
j---momma, when daddy mows the grass, will he cut up the bugs?"
k--no they will probably run away when they hear the mower"
j---"how will they run?"
k--"they'll use their legs"
j---"what kind of legs?"
k--"bug legs"
j---"what kind is that?"
k--"the kind that bugs have"
j---"where will the bugs go?"
k--"to their bug homes"
j---"where are their homes?"
k--"all over the yard"
j---"is that a bug?" (pointing at tree)
k--"no Jenny. that is a tree"
having 50 conversations like this in one day, every day, makes me unable to mentally function in society on a regular basis.
Showing posts with label Funnies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funnies. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Moo Cow Mom and Sir Solitude
Jenny was thinking..... wouldn't it be fun if we pretended to be at the stable on night of Jesus' birth?
she was only talking about it, and i was hoping she wouldn't soon have me digging around pulling out sheets for us to wear and tying sheets to our head.
my mind was cranking, eyes scanning the room---what could i use to tie sheets to our head?
this is the cast assigned by director Jenny:
Daddy is Joseph
Troy is baby Jesus
Jenny is Mary.....
(do you see where this is going?)
Momma is .........a cow
BA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
i don't know who could possibly read that without laughing.
oh and she said Little Dee could play an angel. a boy angel.
HE COULD NEVER PASS FOR THAT!
she was only talking about it, and i was hoping she wouldn't soon have me digging around pulling out sheets for us to wear and tying sheets to our head.
my mind was cranking, eyes scanning the room---what could i use to tie sheets to our head?
this is the cast assigned by director Jenny:
Daddy is Joseph
Troy is baby Jesus
Jenny is Mary.....
(do you see where this is going?)
Momma is .........a cow
BA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
i don't know who could possibly read that without laughing.
oh and she said Little Dee could play an angel. a boy angel.
HE COULD NEVER PASS FOR THAT!
----------------------------------------------
Tonight we talked about how God loves everybody, even Little Dee.----------------------------------------------
Jenny had to potty.
Toilet needed to be flushed.
ok ready, set, go.
She likes her privacy lately. She shut the door as she was pulling down pants and preparing to make her acrobatic climb onto the big person potty. She called for me. I opened door and she informed me of her problem:
"the potty doesn't want me to sit on it"
the toilet was still running (filling up) making water noise!!
Toilet needed to be flushed.
ok ready, set, go.
She likes her privacy lately. She shut the door as she was pulling down pants and preparing to make her acrobatic climb onto the big person potty. She called for me. I opened door and she informed me of her problem:
"the potty doesn't want me to sit on it"
the toilet was still running (filling up) making water noise!!
--------------------------------------------------
Troy likes to go into his room and shut door. i have been calling him "Sir Solitude". if you open door he will flash big grin to you. he thinks it is so fun to be by himself.
tonight he came out of his bedroom and he had such a "knowing" grin. he had a big children's bible held tight to his chest and he was hugging and swinging left to right which is a motion that he only does for bibles and babies. he was saying bible over and over. there is always about 50 books pulled off shelf into his floor. HOW did he know that was a bible?
Troy likes to go into his room and shut door. i have been calling him "Sir Solitude". if you open door he will flash big grin to you. he thinks it is so fun to be by himself.
tonight he came out of his bedroom and he had such a "knowing" grin. he had a big children's bible held tight to his chest and he was hugging and swinging left to right which is a motion that he only does for bibles and babies. he was saying bible over and over. there is always about 50 books pulled off shelf into his floor. HOW did he know that was a bible?
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Jenny funnies
Jenny will start to have a hissy fit and often gets sent to her room. i tell her that i will come talk to her when she stops crying (aka lecture her). this is a common routine. sometimes she will stop crying and call for me, or poke her head out of her bedroom door, and she will quietly say:
"momma, i think i can control myself now"
---------------------------------------------------
reading "the Christmas story" golden book about baby Jesus:
Jenny is very concerned about all the townspeople of Bethlehem not having any shoes on. also discussed are concerns about bare feet of angels and shepherds.
then the footwear of Mary, Joseph, King Herod and the wise men is critiqued and admired.
another point of interest is the wise men having only one camel. she is worried about the 2 wise men who travel on foot.
me---------"well maybe they take turns riding."
jenny------"yeah, one can ride in front and then the other one gets a turn riding in the front."
and then referring to the staff (or walking stick) that one wise man is holding:
jenny------"and they can take turns holding the stick"
today my girl had some of the "random pukes" as we call it. she is just now at this age agreeing to puke in a toilet. this is a wonderful thing. for a long time i was just glad i had talked her into puking into the tub. i'm a little confused but i think if she had her way she'd like to simply puke into a towel. (horrors)
ANYWAY, today i got a real newsflash that she is growing up b/c:
today we put up our tree. we spent a portion of the day making room in our den for the tree. finally will brought it in. it is pre-lit. awesome.
we set it up and the kids' eyes were big as saucers. this was right before naptime. i told Jenny we would put the ornaments on right before bedtime. she was totally thrilled that "Christmas is here".
she was a little confused that Santa was coming while she slept. we told her several times that it is a couple of weeks til Santa visits.
I put Troy in his crib for nap and took Jenny to read a book and tuck in for nap. Will headed out to Taco Bell to get us some lunch.
Later Jenny was still not asleep when Will returned from town. She rarely will come out of her room at sleep time. but she heard the garage door and sacks rustling in the kitchen. we heard her tiny voice from the hall:
"Santa? is that you?"
and then when it was time to wake from nap and get ready for church, she sat on the end of her bed, looking up at me with sleepy, hopeful eyes and said:
"did i get presents??!"
"momma, i think i can control myself now"
---------------------------------------------------
reading "the Christmas story" golden book about baby Jesus:
Jenny is very concerned about all the townspeople of Bethlehem not having any shoes on. also discussed are concerns about bare feet of angels and shepherds.
then the footwear of Mary, Joseph, King Herod and the wise men is critiqued and admired.
another point of interest is the wise men having only one camel. she is worried about the 2 wise men who travel on foot.
me---------"well maybe they take turns riding."
jenny------"yeah, one can ride in front and then the other one gets a turn riding in the front."
and then referring to the staff (or walking stick) that one wise man is holding:
jenny------"and they can take turns holding the stick"
-----------------------------------------------
today my girl had some of the "random pukes" as we call it. she is just now at this age agreeing to puke in a toilet. this is a wonderful thing. for a long time i was just glad i had talked her into puking into the tub. i'm a little confused but i think if she had her way she'd like to simply puke into a towel. (horrors)
ANYWAY, today i got a real newsflash that she is growing up b/c:
- she did not even tell us she was headed to puke, she just ran to toilet with hand over mouth
- she made it to toilet 2 out of 2 times
- she shut the bathroom door for these events
- she quietly puked without any screaming or tears afterward
- she managed to do this fully dressed up like princess even in her high heels/tiara
---------------------------------------------------
today we put up our tree. we spent a portion of the day making room in our den for the tree. finally will brought it in. it is pre-lit. awesome.
we set it up and the kids' eyes were big as saucers. this was right before naptime. i told Jenny we would put the ornaments on right before bedtime. she was totally thrilled that "Christmas is here".
she was a little confused that Santa was coming while she slept. we told her several times that it is a couple of weeks til Santa visits.
I put Troy in his crib for nap and took Jenny to read a book and tuck in for nap. Will headed out to Taco Bell to get us some lunch.
Later Jenny was still not asleep when Will returned from town. She rarely will come out of her room at sleep time. but she heard the garage door and sacks rustling in the kitchen. we heard her tiny voice from the hall:
"Santa? is that you?"
and then when it was time to wake from nap and get ready for church, she sat on the end of her bed, looking up at me with sleepy, hopeful eyes and said:
"did i get presents??!"
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Bad parenting and naked horses
Here's a dose of funnies for ya
Just a typical morning (when Will is not home, that is). Jenny wakes me up, and our routine is TV and chill time. I was gonna try to make up for lost sleep by factoring in some "couch parenting". That is only possible if Troy is still asleep/in his crib.
I say it that way b/c if he is content to stay in crib and jabber to himself then so be it. When he starts to holler at us then we go get him and the real party begins.
So, I was snoozing in between Jenny coming and telling me all about her show, telling me she went to potty, asking for drink, for food, asking every question ever thought of.
One time when she came to me she had a giant sugar cookie with sprinkles.
She said, all casual between bites,
"I got a cookie".
I assumed that Will (who was hunting) had gotten into cookies and left the tupperware open. She is not in habit of opening containers of food.
I said "ok" to the cookie b/c i think that dentures are cool.
so then Troy started stirring. Then he hollered.
If i had to guess what he wanted to say it would be:
"hey women! i hear you! get me out of here and make me some breakfast! oh yeah, and i pooped myself!"
partially asleep i summoned my daughter to please go talk to her brother. that involves jenny just sitting in his bedroom chair and they cackle at each other. it will usually buy me about 3 minutes. b/c she ends up leaving his room and that makes him mad.
well, that's nice. it lasted much longer this time.
ok. he's mad. ok, finally i must get up and start this party. ok here i go on the count of 3. i'm really going to. ok i'm up.
Getting boy out of crib i notice he has crumbs on his butt. my sleepy brain doesn't think its odd at first b/c i am used to major crumb butt in the highchair.
but then i get confused. ??? wait a minute. oh i see.
"Jenny did you share your cookie with Troy?"
there were cookie crumbs in every nook of his body and every nook of his bed.
i brushed them all into the floor and vacuumed 3 times and then had to change crib sheet (and boy).
"momma can i wake up?"
Jenny is all about giving her brother and Daddy a hug and kiss. they aren't allowed to go to bed without this special treatment. also Daddy can't leave house for work, hunting, jiu jitsu etc. without his proper goodbye.
there have been several times that later on she will realize she didn't get hug and kiss, and --oh have mercy-- now Daddy is gone or in his bed asleep. there is major breakdown to follow.
also she likes to walk Will to his bed like she is tucking him in.
one time when he didn't get tucked in, then there was the drama breakdown and she said:
"i didn't get to hug and kiss my daddy, and put him in bed! he's not allowed to do that anymore".
also one morning he was up in the kitchen before hunting. it was about 5am. she stirred and so he went and covered her up. then i heard him opening garage and leaving.
enter Jenny into the den with bucket of tears:
jenny--"my daddy is gone! my daddy is gone!"
me-----"he is only going hunting!"
jenny--"i didn't get to give him hug and kiss!!!!"
girl got back into bed and back to sleep, but she was torn up b/c she didn't know that he was leaving the house.
-------------------------------------------------
Last night the kids were in the car watching "horse movie" as we call it---proper name "Spirit".
boy you just never do know what they are gonna say, do ya?
"Mommy why are horses naked all the time?"
--------------------------------------------------
Just a typical morning (when Will is not home, that is). Jenny wakes me up, and our routine is TV and chill time. I was gonna try to make up for lost sleep by factoring in some "couch parenting". That is only possible if Troy is still asleep/in his crib.
I say it that way b/c if he is content to stay in crib and jabber to himself then so be it. When he starts to holler at us then we go get him and the real party begins.
So, I was snoozing in between Jenny coming and telling me all about her show, telling me she went to potty, asking for drink, for food, asking every question ever thought of.
One time when she came to me she had a giant sugar cookie with sprinkles.
She said, all casual between bites,
"I got a cookie".
I assumed that Will (who was hunting) had gotten into cookies and left the tupperware open. She is not in habit of opening containers of food.
I said "ok" to the cookie b/c i think that dentures are cool.
so then Troy started stirring. Then he hollered.
If i had to guess what he wanted to say it would be:
"hey women! i hear you! get me out of here and make me some breakfast! oh yeah, and i pooped myself!"
partially asleep i summoned my daughter to please go talk to her brother. that involves jenny just sitting in his bedroom chair and they cackle at each other. it will usually buy me about 3 minutes. b/c she ends up leaving his room and that makes him mad.
well, that's nice. it lasted much longer this time.
ok. he's mad. ok, finally i must get up and start this party. ok here i go on the count of 3. i'm really going to. ok i'm up.
Getting boy out of crib i notice he has crumbs on his butt. my sleepy brain doesn't think its odd at first b/c i am used to major crumb butt in the highchair.
but then i get confused. ??? wait a minute. oh i see.
"Jenny did you share your cookie with Troy?"
there were cookie crumbs in every nook of his body and every nook of his bed.
i brushed them all into the floor and vacuumed 3 times and then had to change crib sheet (and boy).
-------------------------------------------------
bedtime around here is not quite all puff clouds and rainbows. Jenny has a habit of dragging it on and on, pulling wild tricks and carrying on. Its never a feel good moment when its been over 1 hr of all that jazz, you haven't heard a peep in 5 minutes, so you get a glimmer of hope........... only to suddenly hear Jenny say:"momma can i wake up?"
--------------------------------------------------
Jenny is all about giving her brother and Daddy a hug and kiss. they aren't allowed to go to bed without this special treatment. also Daddy can't leave house for work, hunting, jiu jitsu etc. without his proper goodbye.
there have been several times that later on she will realize she didn't get hug and kiss, and --oh have mercy-- now Daddy is gone or in his bed asleep. there is major breakdown to follow.
also she likes to walk Will to his bed like she is tucking him in.
one time when he didn't get tucked in, then there was the drama breakdown and she said:
"i didn't get to hug and kiss my daddy, and put him in bed! he's not allowed to do that anymore".
also one morning he was up in the kitchen before hunting. it was about 5am. she stirred and so he went and covered her up. then i heard him opening garage and leaving.
enter Jenny into the den with bucket of tears:
jenny--"my daddy is gone! my daddy is gone!"
me-----"he is only going hunting!"
jenny--"i didn't get to give him hug and kiss!!!!"
girl got back into bed and back to sleep, but she was torn up b/c she didn't know that he was leaving the house.
-------------------------------------------------
Last night the kids were in the car watching "horse movie" as we call it---proper name "Spirit".
boy you just never do know what they are gonna say, do ya?
"Mommy why are horses naked all the time?"
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Tired Men and Miraculous Birth
just a couple of laughs today:
these both happened at bedtime when we were reading stories on Jenny's bed (Troy already asleep in his crib).
---------------------------------------------------
last night Jenny was asking all sorts of questions about Santa while we were reading "the night before Christmas". (it was kind of mandatory that we read a Santa book, having just been in his lap that evening.) i explained about Santa having to supervise elves all year making all the toys for all the kids in the world. and then he would have to ride all night making all those toy deliveries on Christmas Eve.
Jenny-----"what is he gonna do after he is done?"
Me------- "well he's gonna be pretty tired. he will have worked very hard all night. he's probably gonna go home and go right to sleep. kind of like your daddy working at the railroad all night long and then crawling in his bed to sleep all day, right?"
Jenny ----"those are some tired men!"
then tonight we read about baby Jesus. just a classic golden book with the bible story in it. She is forever talking or asking questions while i read. got to stop and answer a question for every page.
Jenny---"i want to be an angel"
Me------"well when you get to heaven you can ask if you can be one. it doesn't hurt to ask"
Jenny---"well, i want to have a baby in my tummy. i want to be Mary"
Me------"well.........you can't be like Mary. because God put the baby in Mary's belly"
wait a minute. thinking.....thinking......... must find a way to correct this without going into detail about Mary's ......purity.
Me------"well, God put babies in my tummy too, but Mary was extra special. some day hopefully you can be like me and have babies in your belly. after you meet Prince Charming and get married you can have babies together."
Jenny---"well........who is my Prince Charming?"
oh we are back to that again. always with the wondering, who could he be??
oh well. whew. subject changed. crisis averted.
these both happened at bedtime when we were reading stories on Jenny's bed (Troy already asleep in his crib).
---------------------------------------------------
last night Jenny was asking all sorts of questions about Santa while we were reading "the night before Christmas". (it was kind of mandatory that we read a Santa book, having just been in his lap that evening.) i explained about Santa having to supervise elves all year making all the toys for all the kids in the world. and then he would have to ride all night making all those toy deliveries on Christmas Eve.
Jenny-----"what is he gonna do after he is done?"
Me------- "well he's gonna be pretty tired. he will have worked very hard all night. he's probably gonna go home and go right to sleep. kind of like your daddy working at the railroad all night long and then crawling in his bed to sleep all day, right?"
Jenny ----"those are some tired men!"
then tonight we read about baby Jesus. just a classic golden book with the bible story in it. She is forever talking or asking questions while i read. got to stop and answer a question for every page.
Jenny---"i want to be an angel"
Me------"well when you get to heaven you can ask if you can be one. it doesn't hurt to ask"
Jenny---"well, i want to have a baby in my tummy. i want to be Mary"
Me------"well.........you can't be like Mary. because God put the baby in Mary's belly"
wait a minute. thinking.....thinking......... must find a way to correct this without going into detail about Mary's ......purity.
Me------"well, God put babies in my tummy too, but Mary was extra special. some day hopefully you can be like me and have babies in your belly. after you meet Prince Charming and get married you can have babies together."
Jenny---"well........who is my Prince Charming?"
oh we are back to that again. always with the wondering, who could he be??
oh well. whew. subject changed. crisis averted.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
