no he DIDN'T

i cannot believe that it finally happened today.
i felt sure that although he is a total PUNK, he knew better than to ever ever do THAT............

Little Dee peed on the couch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a nightmare.
This afternoon I was relaxing, surfing while Jenny napped. I just barely heard the tiny wisp, wisp of Deester's heathern clawless paws as he attempted to "bury" something.

This sound always makes me jolt up ---even if in a dead sleep--- particularly if I can tell that he is NOT in the laundry room (his private bathroom). This tiny burying sound means almost with certainty that Dee has deposited some little gift elsewhere in our home (perhaps puke, which I am more forgiving of). (I should specify that it IS a rarity, and I do not have some sort of pee maniac on my hands.)

Anyway back to the horror---upon realization of the tiny wisp, wisp, I was up from the computer chair in a flash. My eyes scanned the den with lightning speed. Oh how crushed I was to see that hairy mancat of ours "burying" on top of Hank's deluxe couch cover on the loveseat. All of you who have frequented my home ---yes I am talking about the tan suede-y loveseat.
It was clear that he had committed this crime hours ago. Back to the scene like a typical criminal.

After careful inspection, Will and I decided to take the covers off the cushions and machine wash. That turned out fine (although we don't know yet if they have shrunk) Cleaning the foam part of the cushions is a little more complex. Haven't decided my plan of action yet.

After the beating of a lifetime, Little Dee sat calmly perched on top of the tan chair gazing out the front window and occasionally turning his head to watch me flip out tearing apart the loveseat.

A cat's lack of fear is quite irritating. You know, if a dog was in trouble he would shy away with his tail between his legs and wince and whine in the corner. I was unzipping my cushions, wondering how much longer I'd have to whoop him to get him to cower in fear (if ever)? That might make me a little happy.

I have to admit I was playing with fire making a special place for Hank to sleep on the loveseat, when about a dozen times Dee has peed on Hank's bed as an act of defiance.
I was not ever sure if he was mad at Hank, or just mad at me? And since the beds were on the floor I took it that he was "doing me a favor" not peeing directly on the carpet. Because he has also been known to do other "favors" by peeing on a laundry pile, rug or bathmat on the floor.
Nevertheless, he had not ever resorted to the loveseat or couch, and Hank has been sleeping on them on and off since 2004.
So many months ago, I boldly decided Hank could claim the loveseat with his special cover that his Grandma Phi Phi made. I mean he is a really fine fine dog.

Now here we are on this day and I have to refrain from killing my own cat. Lots of you will say, "just chunk him outside and hope for the best."
#1-- I just can't do that. I mean one day Jenny might pee on the couch or worse and i won't chunk her outside.
#2-- About 4 years ago I made the decision to declaw that fatty, and then and there I had to commit to not ever chunking him out into the wilderness.

Later this evening while the cushion covers were in the dryer, I was loading the dishwasher. Jenny was standing next to me with her hands together saying Amen about a dozen times. Then she said her very first prayer ever:
"Dur Gah,
Dee.
Amen."

She must have known that he is in hot, hot water and he needs the prayers.

Dee and Jenny in June 2008

p.s. On a happier note, Cherry Garcia ice cream was on sale at walmart today!!! Had to make the purchase and gobble it up.