Sunday, November 30, 2008

Ode to Tin Foil

Just a short tribute to our great shiny friend. What was life like before the aluminum knight in shining armor?
Who out there is not using tin foil to cover your cookie sheets? You poor souls. Such a waste of your time always scrubbing those cookie sheets etc. when you could have simply balled up the messy foil and its all over with.
Sometimes there is the occasional cooking episode where even the best foil could not hold up to the mess. It is at these times, when I realize that the cookie sheet is indeed finally dirty, that my heart sinks.
I LOATHE cleaning up cookie sheets. Anything that cannot go in the dishwasher is on my list. Heaven help those special dishes (like cookie sheets) if they are dirtied-- cause I'm going to avoid them like the plague forever. What do you expect me to do?? Run a sink full of water and ......wash them by hand??? That's an outrage. I collect over time and make a nice artsy stack of dirty cookie sheets next to the sink. People come to the house, but I sense that they don't get my art. They don't realize the statement that I am trying to make. Then finally one day I'm desperate for a clean cookie sheet. I take out an SOS pad and spend like 30 solid minutes scrubbing at the brown mystery junk that accumulates on them. After such an event my fingers have paid the price. They are blue and prickly. But SOS is the only thing that can conquer a cookie sheet. So I take one for the team with my carny looking hands.
I don't even want to think about life before an SOS.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Christmas Celebration Calendar

When I was little I remember my fun mom making a big calendar for Christmas. She would write one fun thing to do each day until Christmas. I think it was stuck to the fridge, and I'd eagerly look on it all month to find what kinds of fun things we would get to do soon.
In the spirit of tradition, I have created my own Christmas Celebration Calendar.
I encourage you all to participate with me, or make your own fun list. Even though some of the items are kid oriented, you can certainly enjoy them even if you are grown with no rugrats at your heels. After all, we were all kids at one time--- and these activities are sure to spark some extra Christmas cheer in your heart.
Even if you can't find the time to do these things, maybe just reading about it will make you feel less Scroogy:

  • Dec. 1---Make Christmas cookies--get out those cookie cutters!
  • Dec. 2---Sip hot cocoa, eat leftover cookies---don't forget marshmallows for your mug!
  • Dec. 3---Make paper snowflakes, then tape them to your windows
  • Dec. 4---Write a letter to Santa Claus
  • Dec. 5---Make fire. Relax by your fireplace regardless of real or gas logs. If you lack a fireplace, then light up yummy Christmas candles. Or light up the grill on the back porch to warm your hands by, like I catch my husband doing occasionally.
  • Dec. 6---Time to visit a tree farm! Or... if you prefer a fake tree, then visit some other local holiday festivity (such as Rock City's enchanted garden of lights) (or your town's Christmas parade)
  • Dec. 7---Decorate your tree
  • Dec. 8---Get a wreath for your front door
  • Dec. 9---Go see Santa at the mall. While you are in the eternal line of unhappy children, repeat to yourself: "all is calm, all is bright". If you don't have children, visit the mall anyway. When you stroll by Santa Central, send up a prayer of thanks that you aren't standing in that line.
  • Dec. 10--Hang stockings by your chimney with care--or hang them on the curtain rod like me
  • Dec. 11--Pick out a new ornament for your tree, or make a homemade one.
  • Dec. 12--Pile into the car and drive around looking at Christmas lights
  • Dec. 13--Make a gingerbread house--hey I saw a 10 dollar kit at Walmart
  • Dec. 14--Pick out new Christmas PJ's for the whole family
  • Dec. 15--Make a homemade Christmas card for someone special
  • Dec. 16--Make a popcorn string for your tree
  • Dec. 17--Sing Christmas songs in the car
  • Dec. 18--Hang mistletoe
  • Dec. 19--Watch your favorite Christmas movie
  • Dec. 20--Take a walk downtown to soak in the decorations and Christmas spirit. "City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style......."---What's that? You don't have a downtown? Baloney, you're not looking hard enough.
  • Dec. 21--Make yummy treats to take to friends
  • Dec. 22--Wrap presents. Or pay your sibling to wrap them all for you.
  • Dec. 23--Make gingerbread men. Be sure to read or tell your kids the story. Don't remember it? Ahhh, google.
  • Dec. 24--Read The Night Before Christmas. Again with the google.
  • Dec. 25--Take a family picture-- maybe in your new PJ's?

Saturday, November 22, 2008

7 Random Facts About Me

So here is a post that is 3 weeks overdue. Christy tagged me and I procrastinated as usual:

1. I am a big time animal lover! I remember my first cat Lacey who endured many dress up adventures and party functions. I was 6 years old when Santa Claus dropped off Lacey. Ever since I have probably never been cat-less.
My parents always insisted that I completely take care of my cats (my 2 brothers were on dog assignment) from cleaning out the litterbox to the occasional cat-astrophic bath. (pardon the pun)
Every year when the weather would turn cold it was that time again. Time to start my begging process to break down my parents so that my cat could once more be allowed indoors. This usually resulted in their ultimatum for me to give it a bath. Which I gleefully endured so I could feel a warm motor on my feet at bedtime. Just to know my kitty was warm and toasty and not possibly freezing made me sleep easier.
Later on I campaigned for our dogs also to enjoy the indoor life. The first dog inside thanks to my efforts was Jetsam. And she knew she had lucked up. Her indoor behavior was impeccable.
Now Hank our golden boy has the ultimate life. Indoors all day, excursions to the yard to do "business". His bed is the entire loveseat. His "Grandma" made him a custom couch cover complete with his name embroidered on it. It compliments my den curtains just right.
He goes for spa days occasionally where he gets his nails done.
He gets yogurt powder sprinkled on his food regularly so that his digestive system stays on track.
Little Dee our man cat is not suffering either. He is the bed hog in this house. He can make it seem like there is another grown man in the bed, not just a 20 pound cat. Even if we wanted him off the bed, that is a battle we're certain to lose. Every morning when Will leaves for work, Dee is allowed down into the basement, not that I have an option of whether to leave the door open or not. If I ignore him, he'll just sit and bellar at the door and bang on the knob for ages. His bowl is always full. Cause if you let it get empty then he'll chew on things around the house and make headaches for you. (One time to riot against starvation, he went behind the fridge and chewed thru the icemaker tube so that there was water everywhere). As you can see he is the boss.

2. I was born in Utah. That is no biggie to some, but where I grew up in AL, that made me an oddity. Others at my school or church were born there in that very town ...and so were their parents! And their grandparents!!! Fascinating!
My parents moved to Tooele, Utah for only about 1 year. I was lucky enough to make my entrance at that time. Tooele is tiny and perhaps only known for its alluring chemical weapons incinerator. (Yes, there's lots of people on a waiting list to go live in Tooele ha ha)
I am not alone in my weirdness: one of my brothers, Bill, was born in CA.
My other brother, Darin--- he at least was born in the South--TN. He is the lucky one.

3. I am a preacher's kid. My dad has been preaching my whole life. This is not something that ever bothered me really. Sometimes preachers beget more preachers. This is like when doctors beget doctors or........ for some reason the Dale Earnhardt family popped into my head. But neither of my 2 brothers decided to preach. Also I did not marry a preacher.
I remember my momma asking me once if I thought I might like to one day marry a preacher. Don't remember my exact response (it depends on which day she asked me. Did she wake me from a Sunday nap and drag me to the nursing home singing? I probably said- No I don't want to marry a preacher!) Anyway I didn't. I married an engineer.
But I am very glad to have been part of a preacher's family. I learned social skills that lots of kids miss out on. I learned very very often that "we don't always get to do what we want to do" and also I learned on a different level than others that "people are watching you, so be a Christian example."
I ate many a meal at some old lady's house with a smile on my face that I would have rather thrown out in the yard to the dog.
I helped my parents clean the church building on Saturdays for what seemed like eons.
I went to countless funerals or weddings or just the homes of people I did not know.
When others went on vacation, they also were on vacation from church if you know what I mean. But not us. We hit up any random C of C on the way to our destination if it was worship time. Even Wednesday night classtime. And of course a church had been scoped out for visiting wherever we were headed to.
It sounds pitiful to some, but me and my brothers are all better for it.
Lots of lessons that my parents taught me were just in our simple way of life as the preacher's family.

4. I married my high school sweetheart. It was a close call, cause we had our first official date in March before graduating in May 1997. But its on a technicality.
In high school, Will was shy and I was a class clown I guess. We didn't hang out probably ever for 4 years. (That is odd when your graduating class only has 50 people.) Then one day..... after 3 different people had suggested that we date, I suddenly thought "hey--that Will.... he IS a hottie." Do you know what? The other girls at school started to think the same thing. I started to overhear them say "Girl, I saw Will Christopher in the gym with no shirt on and I had to stop and stare" or "Do you know who I think is looking good? Will Christopher!" I had to say hands off ladies. This is my prey. I had to seal a deal quick on getting him as my prom date. You bet your bottom dollar I called that boy up like it was Sadie Hawkins. From that point on I made sure to have sharp nails in case of a cat fight.

5. I have lived in "the North". All be it only for 20 months, but coming back to the South, I am and will forevermore be dubbed a YANKEE. Whatever. Yankees are not all that bad. Some of them I could take or leave, but guess what? Some Southerners could use a good butt whoopin themselves. I have an endless supply of stories about our time in Pennsylvania. We wouldn't trade that experience for the world. But I don't know if we'll ever move back (I think Will was pretty excited to kiss his snow shovel goodbye.)

6. I have no thyroid. I had surgery when I was 4 years old to remove a "wanna-be thyroid blob of tissue". Therefore I daily enjoy a dose of "artificial energy" called synthroid. That is short for synthetic thyroid. There's alot more to your thyroid than energy--- but without one, your energy level is probably the first difference that you'll notice. Doctors do not like to believe me when I say that I was born with no thyroid. They say I could not have lasted until age 4 with no "go-juice" like apparently I did. Momma did always say that I was a good napper.

7. I am super slob. Seriously I just can't help myself. I see people with the clean gene and I am baffled. What is that like to live like that? What is that like to WANT to clean something? To be DRIVEN to clean it??? Even to enjoy it?
Sadly I have brought my husband down with me. He used to have impeccable cleaning/organizing habits. Now he is perhaps worse than me. I am not sure when it happened or if it was a slow painful process. I take full responsibility.

Well I enjoyed writing about myself---I hope I am not a bore.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Have you been thankful for your dishwasher today?

What did I do today? Well.....
The picture just doesn't do it justice. To give you a better idea, this "clean dish masterpiece" runs a length of 7 and 1/2 feet.
Our dishwasher is temporarily out of service. Will has to seal it somewhere with glue stuff and so it has to be clean, empty and dry for that. Then after the glue I'll have to suffer awhile longer til the glue dries before I can run it again.
Lets all take a moment to pay some homage to whomever invented dishwashers. Those fabulous folks .......

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

What we've been up to--part 2

Monday Nov. 10:
Jenny woke up early-- about 7:30-- but that was good, cause I had to make sure that she had a good nap under her belt before her doc appt.
So with a well rested, full-bellied baby I headed off to East Ridge in the afternoon for the 15 month "well-baby check up". But do you think that things went smoothly? uh.....no.
To start with, in the waiting room, Jenny did not approve when I scooped her up from her new found toy stash and took her with me to the nurse's desk to pay. I could not really leave her there unattended even though she's about 15 feet away. Didn't want her busting her head open cause she fell out of the chair you know, or licking all the blocks etc.
So there was some quality screaming to be enjoyed by all while I stood there. After I finished paying, I took her back to the toys. Of course she stopped her nutso fit. I said "we don't always get to do what we want". A lady giggled. I wondered if she would still giggle if I tackled her.
Not sure what she was amused by, but if I want to talk to my child with "adult talk" in the hopes that she understands me, then by George I'll do it.
Who is to say really when and what kids can't comprehend??
Its like when people would disapprove of spanking a baby that is "too young". I'd like to say to those people "oh well you tell me what day exactly to start spanking my baby then---here is a calendar"...........
a momma knows her baby.
momma knows when her baby is comprehending and also momma knows when her baby is needing a whoopin.
Well, right away our exam nurse was "the shot nurse"--- she tried to talk to us and examine Jenny for about 20 minutes while Jenny whined "I know who you are and I know what you do!!!!!"
Jenny didn't want to lay down to be measured etc. I know that laying there must feel vulnerable.
She still weighs about 20 pounds-- no gaining. Will and I conclude that that is because she NEVER sits still! If she sits still, then she is probably sick.
Of course, after a trip to the scale (where there was an extra special fit) I had to re-diaper which was a blast. Then we saw the doc and Jenny refused to "perform" --you know-- no tricks for Dr. Jeanie. I said "the child can talk" but her lips were locked. She cried about any and everything that was going on, except for when they were NOT in the room. When we were alone, she wanted to get into the toys of course, or sing about the animals on the wall....... When the door opened she'd fly to my arms in a fit. So finally here comes shot nurse again. 3 vaccines yay! You better believe that Jenny went ballistic, but this time her fit was somewhat justified. Then the nurse wants to tell me important things after the shots! As if I can hear her. After she left I calmed Jenny and gave her goldfish and got her clothes on her eventually.
We were going to stop for ice cream (yes I was going to reward all that terrible behavior) but she was asleep before we got to any.
As far as doc visits go, I think I'm pretty cold hearted. Well for that matter, I'm like that all the time as a mom....... but at the doc I'm definitely not shedding tears over Jenny's shots etc. I'm not sure if its because I spent a lot of time at the doctor's as a child?? Maybe I think she should suck it up?? I hear other moms say they want to cry about the shots---even my own husband cannot bear it when Jenny gets stuck. I'm not saying its a delight, but my whole attitude during Jenny's exam is "lets get er done, and Jenny --take it like a real woman cause you have no choice-- its for your own good." I felt that some of her behavior at this visit warranted a whoopin. I probably threatened "you better straighten up" and the nurse acted like "oh poor baby is just scared of this whole office-- give her a break." Now see.... that is just how to treat your child if you want to be tying him or her up in a straightjacket to get his teeth cleaned when he is 10 years old.
Obviously I don't expect Jenny to suck it up just yet, but in the future I have high hopes for doctor's office behavior--that's all I'm saying.
After the doc, we got home and I figured I'd go get some groceries for dinner when she woke up. But then she kept on sleeping and I decided that was best.
So Will's dinner that night was squash casserole, cucumber slices, and one arby's beef and cheddar for us to split ha ha!
Do you know that was pretty tasty?? who knew.

Thursday:
Will was off work and able to help with Jenny while I prepared food for our small group meeting at the Carson's. I cooked bacon, which is now a rarity in our home since Will's hideous bacon grease burn in Sept. '07.
At our meeting, I did the babysitting so I missed the bible study. But that's okay cause Will was able to fill me in on the ride home.

Friday:
Very first thing --about 12:30am--Jenny woke up very very unhappy. I wondered for a bit if she was sleep-crying?? Its happened before. But quickly I recognized that this was the "I'm gonna puke" cry. So I was able to at least hang out in the bathroom til the big event.
As usual it was a big clean up which only makes Jenny more unhappy. Finally I had a semi-cleaned up baby and a clean "blankie" for her to drown her sorrows in (thank goodness I have 2 blankies). Then the trick is to get clothes back on her without making her so upset that she pukes again. I decided that just a t shirt would have to do. She was pretty whooped at that point so she rested well after that.

I'd like to add that I was still up for this puke-fest (had not gone to bed yet) so it could have been worse. Dealing with puke/cleaning it up is alot worse when you're half asleep.

Anyway, in the light of day things were looking better. Ordinarily I would have gotten us up a tad early and we'd be off to Mom's bible class at the church building at 9:30 (babysitting provided). But I couldn't take the puker into the nursery you know.......... Super husband strikes again! Lucky me-- he was off work, so he babysat. (Lucky him--she napped the entire time that I was gone).
I felt a little mother's guilt for leaving her post-puke, but Mom's bible class is such therapy.

Let me say here how much fun Mom's bible class is! I love it! It is so wonderful to get to know other ladies at church better! It is a good opportunity to get to know ladies of all different ages. And the way it's set up, you also get a chance to get to know other women whose kids are your kid's age. So its the best of both worlds.
As if 2 hours of relaxed study and chatting wasn't delicious enough, this past bible class ended with a full lunch!! Hot chicken salad, baked apples, roasted asparagus, pie and cake!!!!!! Hello??? How awesome is that? And the kicker was that your kids were still in the playrooms while you got to eat. (For a portion of time, and then they were inevitably delivered to you. ha ha) So I enjoyed a nice dinner yet again without my wild one demanding constant attention. I am so grateful to Will for staying with our girl that day while I got "me time."

Later on Friday we ventured out to Greenway Farms for the sake of the dog. Jenny seemed perky enough and we enjoyed a long walk on a trail thru the woods. That is the only place close enough to our house that we've found to walk Hank. Other parks do not allow him :(
If they knew him they'd change their mind......

Thursday, November 13, 2008

What we've been up to --part 1

Well, I was encouraged to post again already. I'm glad to know that my blog is being enjoyed by others!
I've been a bad bad girl. I've not been posting. During this time I've thought of a million things to post about, and so the list gets longer. Very much like my to-do list for around the house that I've been neglecting. But for this post, I'll start with a simple update:

I never did write about the past weekend, which included a trip to Grandma's (aka Phi Phi) for Jenny.
Thursday Nov. 6th:
I managed to pack all the princess's gear, and her Phi Phi and Pop Pop came to get her on Thurs. morning. The only glitch was the carseat transfer, which Pop Pop conquered. Yes folks, I do not know how to get the car seat in or out of my own car. That is what a husband is good for, and without mine I am toast. (he was at work)
As soon as Jenny left the building, I thought to myself: what do I want to do? Not what do I need to do (recurring problem for me). I suddenly realized how blissful it would be to eat a nice meal alone. This is something that I would have seriously avoided in my former life (BJ--before Jenny). Yet now I was a woman on a mission. Oh to eat a meal without cutting food up just right and coaxing a wild monkey to eat it. Oh to eat a meal without singing about the characters on Jenny's placemat. I was in the car in a flash of lightning. Where did I want to go? I needed the ultimate meal. It had to be good all the way thru. Salad, bread, entree, dessert had to be the best, something I could really savor. Olive Garden. I took my all time favorite book to read while I waited for the food to be served. I felt no apprehension about sitting alone, it was just so delicious to sit still in QUIET.After indulging myself, I prepared food for our small group meeting at the Carsons'. I rode with my friend Dianne and enjoyed chatting. We all had such a good meeting, and I just really left with warm fuzzies. Will was home by the time I got home, and I talked his ear off. I am really excited about getting to know everybody even better. I think its fascinating when you start to figure out how or why God put certain people in your life.
Friday:
I had high hopes to paint our den in one day, but Will talked me out of it. His argument was that the other billion things that I wanted to do, in addition, would impose on the paint a thon.
I had to finally agree cause I really wanted date night and a hair cut etc. And on our date I needed a husband who was not ready to kill me, or burn the house down etc. I was shooting for romance, so my den is still blah blah white.
You have to understand that I am a reasonable woman. That paint weekend had been planned out way in advance. I had literally said "this is the weekend we'll paint the den, jenny will go to grandmas". Then as the weekend approaches, I start to work on Will. You know, got to make sure he is on board for painting. So for days I feel like a cheerleader "we can do it! yes we can!" give me a P, give me an A! (I....N....T) what ya got? PAAAAAAINT!
Ha Then the trip was shortened by one day. At that point I knew I had to really ramp up the cheers. I said "it's still possible" and "it will be like we're on trading spaces". We even looked at paint needs in Lowe's one night, and I thought that I had it "in the bag". But ALAS on Thursday night it became increasingly obvious that Will's heart was not in it. He just wasn't up for the challenge.
I have to say that when you have few breaks from your child, it is hard to work on home projects when they are gone, instead of do fun things as a couple.
So........instead of paint we shopped and napped and then tried a new sushi place (new for us) in northshore called Nabe. We enjoyed it, but sushi is like mexican food, in that you develop a taste for a certain restaurant's, and then when you try a new place.....its not bad... its just different. I imagine that we'll continue to get our sushi fix from our old faithful: Shogun's on Gunbarrel. We like theirs best, and the clincher is dollar sushi night mon and wed.
But I like the Nabe atmosphere: not as crowded seating, and the opportunity for a fabulous walk in northshore afterwards.
After Nabe, we had our favorite "date": bookstore. Sitting in silence with our literary selections and sipping our Joe Muggs.....mmmmmmm that's the life.
Saturday:
We had breakfast at a place "consistently voted the most romantic restaurant in Chattanooga". The Back Inn Cafe. I saw it on the internet a few weeks earlier. When I saw that Rachael Ray had been there, I felt that we had to try it. Hank waited patiently in the car while we dined. Then we were all headed for AL.
We picked up Jenny at Will's parents' house and went to visit with our good friend April who was on a visit to AL from Aspen, CO. We had not seen her and her family since spring, so it was great to visit. I love to hang out at the Barkers cause they know what good food is and they know fun and they are "real" people, just so genuine.
I really can't visit the Barkers without partaking in Mr. Barker's BBQ. Particularly his second-to-none ribs. In addition to ribs, we gobbled up some spinach dip-- Jenny loves it. Yes, the dip recipe that is so well known---I shall not take credit---it all started with Mrs. Barker. While we were there, Jenny got to play with 2 other babies: Adriana and Logan. (April's cousin's children) Jenny fed the fish and played in the leaves. Also she likes to walk "off the beaten path". We walked her to the pond and she said "ish".
For dinner Saturday we enjoyed a trip to Rocket with Will's parents. I was stunned to not see someone we know!! It is a standard that you always will see somebody before you leave, no matter how quick you are in and out of there. I'm sure its because I had all my make up on. If I went in there with no make up and hair looking stupid then I'd see about....10 people. You know... the ones you haven't seen in 10 years usually. Anyway, we enjoyed drowning our fries in the signature rocket BBQ sauce. The only thing is that I didn't get to read any tabloids while I waited for my food, I had to be entertaining JR. Its really not a complete trip to Rocket if you didn't get to read an old issue of the Sun or the Star, but that's just another hard sacrifice I'll make as a mother I guess. HA HA
Sunday:
We went to worship with the congregation where I grew up: Jacksonville C of C. Can you believe we were .....EARLY???? We were thinking that we'd be arriving just "on time" but then I looked at our cell phones when we got in the parking lot. I said "WILL.......we're 6 minutes early!!!"
It all has to do with his parents clocks being set a little late. I said "Fascinating. We should do that." Will said "it won't work if you know about it ha ha."
Anyway, Jenny went to bible class and did fine without us---Yippee! I hope that that continues. At our church here, Jenny sits in her own bouncy chair. At J'ville, she has to sit in a small hole in the table. I think if I were a baby that would freak me out. But she luckily doesn't mind it.
It is wild to go back and visit there now and then and see some people who never seem to change and also some (kids) who are totally grown! It is a home for me.
After church we went to Top a da for lunch with Will's family (AKA Top of the River). We love Top a da so very much that we had to give it a nickname. Jenny had a minor fit and got a minor spankin and laid her head down on the table while holding blankie?? Never does that, but she's always doing new things to throw me off.
After Top a da, Nina (Will's sister) took our fall pictures. She does such a great job! I swear that if it wasn't for her I'd have no pictures cause I'd never think to schedule real "shoots". I'd just be stuck with snap shots. Nina is often the one prompting the photo shoot, and I am like "Oh yeah, lets do that."
Especially when Jenny was colic devil, then I didn't care a flip to take her to some stranger's studio and endure that. Not that I knew any good photographer here, or anyone to give me a recommendation, or any idea where ANYTHING WAS in town......not going to go there now though......
At the time, actually, I was thinking: "Pictures? Why would I want to remember this???" But as I suspected, I'm glad to have those pictures that she took now.
To sum up: Nina takes all my pictures, it is the bomb, yay, big score for me!

Here are 3 of my favorites from Sunday


Princess playing in the leaves

We're all here (excluding Little Dee)(who is totally mad by the way)


Hank the super dog, our firstborn

After photos, we hit the road coming home to good old Soddy Daisy. Jenny was being rotten and so I wanted her day to end ASAP so that I could exhale. I was hoping that her rottenness would be gone in the morning cause she had to go get vaccines etc. Whoopie!
To be continued..........

Friday, November 7, 2008

Food is Fun

When Jenny gets bored with a food, then it gets smashed. For an example we'll use banana. She loves it if I don't catch her til she has two fists full of banana squeezing tight going squish squish. Once she's been caught, she'll hold her fists up to show me and the smile on her face then is priceless. If she could talk she'd say: "I know, I know this is so bad. But look how fun!! If squishing this banana is wrong, I don't want to be right!!" (sounds like her momma)Recently I was observing my child and I was pleased to find that she is using her creativity.
Perhaps growing tired of smooshing food with her hands, she decided to smash these carrots with her heels.
She's really thinking outside the box and that makes me proud!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Diaper Disaster

We are in this inconvenient phase where Jenny has total diva psycho meltdowns if you try to change her diaper in public. Well, anywhere except our house or our car. Not to say that she's guaranteed to be an angel in those circumstances either.
In any other place she will lose it completely. This is a sudden development.

The first time I noticed it was about 3 weeks ago at Zaxby's. The baby I took into the bathroom was flirty, giggling. The baby that came out acted like I had beat her with a hickory stick. Granted she did get a whoopin for her hissy fit, but anyway.

The second time I noticed her vicious protest was on a Wednesday night before bible class. I took her in the cry room and used that changer. More of the same... instant switch from nice to nutso.
Both of these times there was no one around, so that isn't the issue......

The last and worst time was on Oct. 18th at Cracker Barrel. I am scarred from this one, I'm telling you.
Of course we had just had one of those "life is good" moments --a fun day with our happy baby at the craft festival at Ketner's Mill. We had eaten funnel cake in the sunshine and browsed the arts.
And then our luck continued during dinner. We gobbled up our okra and dumplings and tickled and kissed our good baby.
But alas, I'm coming to realize I may never get thru one solid day without some Jenny meltdown.
If I had to describe my mothering technique it would be "old bitty". Most of the time, I put up a persistent fierce fight and rarely give in (Jenny takes after her momma ha ha!). But after this incident --I surrender, at least for the time being, to changing her only in the Rav 4:

After our meal I knew the diaper change was overdue. I had intended to do it before the meal, but then I got sidetracked-- first in the fantastic gift shop and then by the visions of hashbrown casserole dancing in my head. So off to the bathroom we headed for our adventure. Once again chipper and all grins.
Then I laid her down and suddenly ....where is my baby? Jenny is gone and instead I'm stuck with the Hulk. I swear I heard the onesie ripping down the middle. The child would not lay down! I flipped her back down about 80 times. So I managed to get the diaper off of her while she was standing and screaming that she would NOT be defeated, but then another diaper had to go back on. I was starting to think I'd just have to carry her out with a bare butt. It was about a 5 minute fit, during which all of the women in Chattanooga, young and old, came in and out of the bathroom. Some of which couldn't help but comment on how cute she is?? At first I hollered back to them "oh yeah, she's just adorable, our little princess" "oh thanks so much, wouldn't trade her for the world". In between I was whoopin those thighs left and right and giving my fiercest looks to that adorable princess. I was hoping that the 50 billion nice ladies would realize that this is a big showdown and the best thing that they could do is ignore us. But no. I was thinking, "I can't be polite right now, can't interact with other adults........all I can manage to do right now is try to diaper this raving heathern! So just hush about her being an angel!" So finally I just stopped acknowledging their sweet comments. Did I mention that there was a lady and her baby girl (who is cool as a cucumber) standing behind me waiting this whole thing out to the bitter end? Waiting to use the table. THIS lady was not just commenting but asking questions. "how old is she?" "Where'd you get her jacket?" "Where'd you get her shoes?" "is she walking?"
I had to stop whoopin her (jenny, not the lady) to get any closer to my goal of: DIAPER ON. Then I'm wondering: are some of the ladies thinking I'm abusive, are some of them thinking I need to give out more whoopins? Who has time to care about that when your duking it out with a bare bootied spazz? Somehow I managed to get the diaper on while she was standing and going nuts. O happy day. I darted out of there and found Will. What a lucky duck he is! This whole time Will was missing out on the show, paying the tab. He was waiting near the exit, oblivious to the whole thing. His only clue is the look on my face and the unsnapped flap of the onesie hanging down between bare legs with rosey handprints all over them. It is good he missed out, because he had to love her enough for both of us at that point. And if he had been in the ring with her also, then...well....I guess she'd have had to hitch a ride to Grandma's from the parking lot.
In the back of the Rav 4, I intended to adjust my handiwork and put her pants on. At least there wouldn't be a crowd (for awhile anyway) out there. Of course she didn't mutter a peep and giggled at Daddy during that! Whatever. And that is when I realized I could get away with changing her in the car. So I got my heartrate down eventually, and we concluded that she is interested in seeing everything in the bathrooms when we enter. So then she is TICKED when I make her lay on her back right away. Not sure why she would become this way so suddenly (she is a woman) but I am not going to be taking my chances anytime soon. Even in this bitter cold that is coming, I'll be freezing her hiney out at the Rav4-- if that's what she wants, then that's what she gets.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Smells, Suckers, Steps

Just a few other highlights from the halloween weekend:
Will was having a wild moment and took us to Outback on Halloween night. He has presented claims here and there about not liking Outback, but I think most of that has to do with moola. They do need to get their act together in that area. But in the meantime, I'm willing to fork it all out for those precious shrimp on the barbie and sydney's sinful sundae! Don't forget my salad either. I'm still not sure if its their croutons or their dressing that makes me so happy, but if loving that salad is wrong I don't want to be right! Anyway so I'm doing the dance of joy as he swings into the Outback parking lot. He likes to keep it all a big surprise where we will end up. He does that all the time for no reason and that is just one of the silly reasons that I love him. Jenny wore her Snow White outfit into the restaurant. I ordered her some steamed broccoli. Don't know why she is willing to eat it, but I'm so glad! On our way out, I said to Will "definitely smell something definitely"...... as in poo-poo. He said yes I agree. So yet again I'm looking forward to wrestling jenny for a total strip down in the back of the Rav 4. (can't change her diaper in the restaurant! more on that later.....) Off with the sweater, shoes, jeans, costume, onesie. We get down to the diaper, and we are still both certain of the presence of poo-poo. Its time for the big reveal and..... there is ........NOTHING. We are baffled! What's more is that we can still smell this ghost of the poo-poo?? Will's bright idea is that I have left a poo diaper in the car and it must be found and discarded. As if I would just forget and leave it there?? (well, he has a good argument...) As if my nose is just immune to poo now?? (sometimes I wonder) Besides, I say, the raunchy smell began in the restaurant. After a trip thru the mall we return to the car which is still being haunted by this funky ghost of the poo-poo. Now I'm beginning to think that I may have to sell my car like Seinfeld did when the smell of B.O. in his car became an "entity". Thankfully, on a hunch, Will opens our takeout and it is confirmed: broccoli is the culprit. See that is why I never did like broccoli! Smells like poo?? UUGH.
Sunday we started out doing okay getting ready for church.....We woke up early enough, felt pretty relaxed and that makes all the difference. Will even went in the basement and worked out! But then I felt it unraveling just a bit. I cut some corners as usual, but what can you do. No shower for me, and I did my make up in the car. My biggest miscalculation was when to wake up the princess. She was sleeping in. I waited too late. Its just too tempting to keep taking care of other business since she's not up yet! Anyway, I went and looked in her crib and nudged her. She didn't budge easily. I said "are you tired?" With her eyes closed, she nodded! ha ha! I asked again to see if that's really what she was doing-- she nodded again! She doesn't typically nod yes right now.
So we were late AGAIN for bible class but oh well.
For worship Will had brought what he thought was a great secret weapon: a sucker. NOT a good idea! I ended up with the sucker in a handful of sticky tissues and he took her out of the auditorium armed with a wipie. He never came back, and I figured he is a big boy, so I took the opportunity to be able to worship while sitting still and not have to be rummaging thru the bag of tricks and all that.
Sunday night we walked in Northshore and downtown. Jenny loves to point to the gold horse on the tip top of the carousel building.
She sings "baaaybee" whenever we pass other babies. There is sometimes a group of people singing gospel songs at the other end of the bridge. This Sunday when we passed by them they were singing Beulah land. There just ain't NOTHIN like good old gospel singin! We went in our favorite stores: my hippie store Fair Trade, Rock Creek Outfitters, Rock Point Bookstore. Jenny says "Wheee!" when Will maneuvers the stroller down the steep hill to the aquarium.
Sunday night Jenny took her first steps! She is still wobbly but she enjoyed walking back and forth from Momma to Daddy without holding on. Shucks, she's gonna grow up after all!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

The fairest in all the land


Well I had to get Snow White up on the blog already, cause I know that some people are chompin at the bit for a peek.
Jenny did officially get candy tonight at trunk or treat. We had a ton of kids tonight. It was even harder than usual to know who is a member of our church and who is a visitor, due to all of the costumes ha ha! Lots of adults dressed up too!
At first Jenny was a little scared about getting her treats. Who are these people and why are they giving us goodies? But she figured it out quickly. Before long she was making her own candy selections, diving into the people's bowls with no hesitation. She's got a nice selection in her neon green cat sack. We're taking this opportunity to help ourselves to her treat sack (probably the only chance we'll ever get).
Can you believe that Will let her eat a sucker??!! Til she dropped it on the ground anyway.